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[icon] phantom with warm breath
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Subject:on the shore of the wide world
Time:04:43 pm
i want to die in a cloud of fireflies
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and drink deepsea-green tea to relax and fight off the bitter moods that are making my head ache.
i swear the smoke floating in front of me is moving with the music.
tonight feels perfect and consists of much needed alone time, i wish every winter night could feel like this. when the sun goes down i want to curl up in this spot by the window with incense smoke brushing against my face and the orange glow of city lights lending warmth to the sky. with tea on my lips and blades to play with.
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i feel change under my skin.in the muscle.moving with my actions.

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Time:10:17 am
“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”-Emerson

this made me think of how i have so many negative things to say about the state of the world.sure it's got some fucked up people but i still want to meet everyone and be tolerable and kind towards them even if they are terrible people(before i try to wake them up to their flaws or the fact they are not living) because the world doesn't need any more cruelty.
Even though the world is full of filth, i dont mind rolling around in it by seeing every city i can because under the layers of trash,violence, and materialism there is always something pretty to be found and new things to experience.
and although the earth is abused, i will do what i can to not contribute to it's destruction because i believe one person trying to save it or make life sustainable for a few more years can make a (small) difference.

i dont know what that has to say about my character but i guess it means when something is wrong i can adapt to it and try to make it better
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Current Music:death from above 1979- going steady
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Time:07:03 pm
Current Mood:sleepy eyes closing
"we'll explore together, we'll hunt in deserts, we'll sleep on the sidewalks of unknown cities, without worries, without sorrow. Or I'll awake and find that his magical powers will have transformed all laws and customs, leaving the world intact; I'll be left with my desires, joys, insouciance. Oh, give me this life of innoncent adventure in return for the suffering I've endured."
-Arthur Rimbaud from A Season In Hell
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Subject:the real garden state sprouts cement flowerbeds fertilized with waste
Time:09:19 pm
i admire the few people who push me to transcend my destiny, i love it when the only person who knows my secrets tilts his head and says he likes my soul its reassuring and makes me believe the static in my head makes sense that its all part of the infinite abyss, you know the part in garden state when zach braff and his friends visit the ship sitting on the edge of a bottomless canyon and as they are leaving the owner of the boat says to him " good luck exploring the infinite abyss" i love that line and that movie.

the infinite abyss is the human soul and only the bravest venture into it's depths and explore every constellation of emotion, cave of thought, nuance of their personality and come to recognize all the facets of the self that make up the whole. maybe its impossible to find all their is to be found in oneself but i have the deepest admiration for those who have discovered much of themselves and will never stop exploring.
maybe the reason i'm so forgetful sometimes is because my consciousness is buried in the abyss.
and it's not selfish because the more you know about yourself the more you recognize in human nature and that can be used to help people and make connections.
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[icon] phantom with warm breath
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